![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=92.1){kind=small}
Anyone who makes you feel like they're your new drug is probably a bad choice - hey just saying - meth and love can't feel the same.
I never had a problem coming second to her... I loved hearing from him every day. I can't however handle the reality that I was his fantasy but my life was his fantasy and I don't want his reality. Fantasy loses to reality every damn time! Gosh. Got drunk as and abused the shit out of him in town. Damn gotta be hating on that super-charged anger.
I had laid awake til 4 am the last two nights unable to sleep. Not consumed by thoughts of him, simply unable to sleep. Maybe reeling in the intensity and ferocity of it all?
Meh. Lame week anyway
:(
- Music:Adele - Someone like you
Ah god. The pickles i get myself in are outrageous
x
( Letter from ex-bf to me )( letter from ex-bf to me )
Me:wow
i need to think about this a bit. I need you to know that right now I don't want to do that. There may come a time where we are right for eachother again but it's not now. I'm being 20 and loving every minute of it and dealing with the growing pains along the way.
Ex:ok kul
me:i need some time to think about what to say in response to this
If you can't see me for a while then that's all good
ex:u dnt have to give a response its all good\
me:I am really enjoying having you in my life and just taking it day at a time - sometimes it feels good to hang, some times it doesn't
but i don't want you to be hurting any more than you already are if this is fucking your shit up
Ex: K Steph all good
Thanks for everythng
me:i know you're hurting right now and I am so sorry for this pain becoming part of our lives
thank you for everything too
me:u dont have to say all this its kul, i get the point
me:dude its not about having to say anything its about what i want to say ok?
ex:ok, am jus sayn u dnt hav to apologise for nuthn etc, ill deal with tym u aint dne nuthn wrong
i do hope you fimd happiness and get someone who makes you happy just as i hope. me going away etc is my way of saving you from this and me trying to move on
me:you're not saving me. It's ok to need to save yourself
ex:yea k am savn myself from the hurt too. dont get this wrong, aint no anger or nuthn
but its best i go for good coz its sumin i dnt think i get over. So yeah thats what i had top say and goodbye my friend.
me:Peace love and happiness to you on your journey. I will miss you terribly. I don't believe in goodbye so I'll say see you later
ex:. i will miss you but this is best for both of us i guess
me:i respect your decision
ex:i'll try get Alex or whoever to sort out moving whatever i left ther
love u bro always
me:love you too. My hearts hurting really bad right now so I need to go.
ex: k goodbye
Owies. Soresore. Not much helped by my fucking flatmates smoking all my ciggies and leaving me with none.
I'm going to get a bottle of wine and go out. Let's get fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucked uuuuppp!!! That will fix everything(nothing)
Dear anxiety. If you could get out out of my life about now that would be cool. Its not that i dont enjoy the gripping fear or unexplainable tension...
Yeah, right.
Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.
- Location:New Zealand, Hamilton
Shucks. 4:21am and still no sleep.
20mg oxynorm and still wide awake.
Tomorrow's gonna suck lol.
Never mind haha.
Had an intense experience this past thursday. A very good friend of mine who has a brain tumour had been in hospital for 2 weeks. I generally leave people alone unless they contact me when they're ill as I HATE people getting in my grill when I'm sick. She asked me to go and have a drink with her for her 21st. I knew she wasn't really ok, but I wasnt quite prepared to hear her tell me that on the Sunday she was admitted she had 70 of her meds (she never said what), and drunk bottles of nail polish remover with juice. She has bo recollection if the next 20 odd hours. Just of waking up, realising she wasn't dead and being heartbroken again, pleading with God and the docs n nurses to let her die. "I've had a good run" is what shr said she was telling them.
Theres a big story to tell at a later point about this but it's now 4:30am and it sucks to use the iphone to post.
I feel bad for not recognising the signs. I love her dearly and hope the docs can help her manage these feelings through help and meds.
Please pray for her. Her marriage has broken apart and her 3 year old beautiful daughter needs her and so do we.
Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.
- Location:New Zealand, Hamilton
ONE Time Only
ONE question.
ONE chance.
ONE honest answer.
That's all you get.
You get to ask me 1 question. AND ONE QUESTION ONLY!
Write it here.
Any question & I WILL ANSWER THEM TRUTHFULLY but i can't promise explanations or answers to follow-up questions.
No catch.
But I dare you to re-post this and see what people ask you.
(Also, I've made this entry public for the next 3 days so you can ask anonymously. Just remember to track the comments [click the push pin after you post] so you get the answer.)
